summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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