Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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