i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dick very happy bro
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
