im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
