i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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