Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
