I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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