well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
