SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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