I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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