This girl is more easily done than said...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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