I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
