Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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