Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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