There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
