I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you traded sex for a burrito?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
