You can't motorboat a personality
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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