And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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