I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Randomize
