I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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