she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
