You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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