He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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