Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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