Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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