shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
