i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
