she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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