I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
