haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
