He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
