Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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