i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
