Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
