dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
