i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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