How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
