your room smells of hookers.
And success
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
