I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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