Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
