okay pat passed out under dana's car
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
