please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I am one with the molecules
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
