Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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