we have officially lost it.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
