Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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