Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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