someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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