Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
