Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
