I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
