I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My feet surprised me
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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