Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
