What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
