Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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